Peter Wise

Shakespeare could have been a copywriter



According to Times writer Giles Whittell, if Shakespeare were alive today, he’d be a copywriter with a blog. I don’t know about that, but as a copywriter with a blog, I thought some of his lines could be useful for advertising certain products:


All that glisters is not gold – Ratners Jewellery

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie – Neuro Linguistic Programming DVDs

Eye of newt and toe of frog – New extra economy burgers!

If music be the food of love, play on – Now That’s What I call Love Songs CD

To be, or not to be – Careers Advisory Service

To sleep, perchance to dream – Nytol

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo – Discover your local Alfa dealer

Out, damned spot – Vanish stain remover

Blow, blow thou winter wind – Outdoor clothing

I will buy with you, sell with you, talk with you – Management Consultants

A dish fit for the gods – Almost anything

A pound of flesh – just £4.99 at your local butcher’s

A hit, a very palpable hit – Kylie’s latest

That way madness lies – unlike Kylie’s, the nutty boys’ CD can be found in the bargain bin

A thousand times good night – Nytol again

Salad days – summer picnic offers

Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more – 50 Shades of Grey

A feast of languages – Linguaphone special offer

The crack of doom – just say no to drugs

On the windy side – hey kids, you’ll love our new baked beans!

Unsex me here – Mr Byrite clothes store

Why, that’s my dainty Ariel, I shall miss thee – But don’t miss new, improved giant-sized non-bio Ariel!

An improbable fiction – Jeffrey Archer’s latest novel now on sale

An itching palm – try our medicated hand cream

Cakes and ale – a double offer at Morrisons

It smells to heaven – Get your French cheese here!

Laid on with a trowel – The Katie Price make-up collection

Life’s fitful fever – Calpol

Neither a borrower nor a lender be – Northern Rock Bank

Now is the winter of our discount tent – camping shop January sale


(Ok, I cheated a bit with that last one.)

Finally, there’s:

Hob nob – (looks like Shakespeare even did a bit of product naming on the side too)

Knock, knock! Who’s there? (not to mention stand-up comedy)


I may not be Shakespeare, but if you would like effective website copywriting or advertising copywriting by a UK copywriter, please contact me






About Peter

Freelance Copywriter in London, UK
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