According to Times writer Giles Whittell, if Shakespeare were alive today, he’d be a copywriter with a blog. I don’t know about that, but as a copywriter with a blog, I thought some of his lines could be useful for advertising certain products:
All that glisters is not gold – Ratners Jewellery
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie – Neuro Linguistic Programming DVDs
Eye of newt and toe of frog – New extra economy burgers!
If music be the food of love, play on – Now That’s What I call Love Songs CD
To be, or not to be – Careers Advisory Service
To sleep, perchance to dream – Nytol
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo – Discover your local Alfa dealer
Out, damned spot – Vanish stain remover
Blow, blow thou winter wind – Outdoor clothing
I will buy with you, sell with you, talk with you – Management Consultants
A dish fit for the gods – Almost anything
A pound of flesh – just £4.99 at your local butcher’s
A hit, a very palpable hit – Kylie’s latest
That way madness lies – unlike Kylie’s, the nutty boys’ CD can be found in the bargain bin
A thousand times good night – Nytol again
Salad days – summer picnic offers
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more – 50 Shades of Grey
A feast of languages – Linguaphone special offer
The crack of doom – just say no to drugs
On the windy side – hey kids, you’ll love our new baked beans!
Unsex me here – Mr Byrite clothes store
Why, that’s my dainty Ariel, I shall miss thee – But don’t miss new, improved giant-sized non-bio Ariel!
An improbable fiction – Jeffrey Archer’s latest novel now on sale
An itching palm – try our medicated hand cream
Cakes and ale – a double offer at Morrisons
It smells to heaven – Get your French cheese here!
Laid on with a trowel – The Katie Price make-up collection
Life’s fitful fever – Calpol
Neither a borrower nor a lender be – Northern Rock Bank
Now is the winter of our discount tent – camping shop January sale
(Ok, I cheated a bit with that last one.)
Finally, there’s:
Hob nob – (looks like Shakespeare even did a bit of product naming on the side too)
Knock, knock! Who’s there? (not to mention stand-up comedy)
I may not be Shakespeare, but if you would like effective website copywriting or advertising copywriting by a UK copywriter, please contact me
