Freelance Copywriter UK Blog 2008
Freelance Copywriter UK Blog 2008 Archive
For latest entries, see Freelance Copywriter UK Blog
If you need any freelance copywriting, or have a comment, please contact me
December 2008
Latest news - December 18
No let up in the run up to Christmas. Currently working on:
- In-house promotion for a design agency
- Wine labels for a South African winery
- More work for the major international IT company; mostly banners and emails.
- Also pitching for various pieces of business.
Latest news - November 2008
Recent projects include:
- Finishing the copywriting and search engine optimisation copywriting for the Middle Eastern website (well over 100 pages - my biggest SEO copywriting project yet).
- Banners, emails, microsites for a major IT company
- In-house promotion for an out of town design/new media company
- Ads for a South African winery
- Another newsletter for a different housing association
- Inserts for a national cancer charity
- Brochure for an international relief agency
Latest news (September 08)
Still plenty more ongoing work:
- Website copywriting for leading media agency. Also writing awards entries.
- More work on wine brands for the integrated London agency.
- Specialist wine merchant wine descriptions copy now finished. Am working my way through their wine (mmm...part payment).
And some new stuff too:
- A new project from an old client in the Netherlands I hadn't heard from in a while - a video presentation as part of a pitch.
- Website copy and search engine optimisation copywriting for a legal document services company.
Copywriting for the Nigerian scammers - Part 3
There are some even better examples of copywriting associated with these scams. And they've been written by people who are fed up with receiving these emails and have decided to take them on at their own game.
They write back to those email addresses and pretend to have been duped. Yes, they say, we'll happily give you our bank details so you can fill up our accounts with all that money as you've promised to do, but first you must just do a little something for us.
And, just as the scammers are relying on the greed and stupidity of their victims, so do the people who scam the scammers rely on the same baseness of their not-so-innocent dupes.
So they string them along and get them to do all kinds of things. These could be making up fake bank accounts with ridiculous names. Or they sometimes go even further - getting them to pose for photos with signs with fake names like 'Erik Shun' or 'Barney Rubble' so that they can meet their 'victim' at the airport. (The scambaiter has, of course, wisely stayed at home, and never actually gives out any personal details.
You can read more about this at www.419eater.com
Copywriting for the Nigerian scammers - Part 2
These scam emails haven't just got better from a writing point of view, they've also started paying more attention to the format. These scam emails also seem to vary in length.
Take one I received recently. This was how it went:
'I am Barrister
my late client,
have an important message for you.'
Other than the (fake) email address, that was it. It's the classic 'teaser' that the direct marketing industry know and love, in that it leaves the recipient intrigued to know more.
The same day I received another email. Twice actually (tut tut, check your mailing list). These ones purported to come from the Ghana Oil Company (a legitimate outfit) and had even reproduced their logo on the email.
But what caught my eye was the response mechanism. The call to action wasn't to email back, though there was an email address at the top, it was to phone a direct line.
Perhaps the scammer had realised that an email address that wasn't hosted by the oil company was a bit of a giveaway (it was actually a gmail address). Or perhaps, a small part of me would like to imagine, it's all down to the services of a copywriter.
It would have to be a pretty hapless copywriter, for sure. If the scammers discovered there was one comma out of place, I dread to think what might happen. These scam artists are not nice people.
So a hapless copywriter, perhaps, but not hopeless. Proper grammar and spelling. Testing of different formats. New methods of solicitation. Choice of calls to action. If there is someone out there helping them, they know what they're doing…at least as regards the writing.
In the last part of this blog entry, I'll look at how, in some instances, the scammers are being taken for a ride themselves - and using very similar methods.
Copywriting for the Nigerian scammers - Part 1
We've all had the emails. You know how they start:
'I'm the nephew of / banker responsible for / lawyer acting for…'
And then they go on to talk about some ex plutocrat, dictator, luminary who has died leaving many millions waiting to be claimed. There's a million or two waiting for me if I would just help them transfer the money overseas.
Of course, the scam is that they get hold of your bank account details, and rather than filling it with millions of dollars, they empty it.
Amazingly, these scams do occasionally work, and naïve but greedy people are taken in and thoroughly fleeced.
They're called Nigerian scams, because that's where they started, although now they're likely to come from (or purport to come from) other countries like Ghana, Zimbabwe, Hong Kong, Serbia and so on. Most are apparently still operated by guys form Nigeria though.
What's interesting to me, though, is the way these scams are written. Most of the time they're full of spelling mistakes, bad grammar, bizarre punctuation and plain typos. So much so that you'd be amazed that anyone could possibly be taken in by them for that reason alone. (How can a lawyer or banker write that badly?)
Recently, however, many seem to have improved from a writing point of view. Hardly an error to be seen. Could it be that they've engaged the services of a professional copywriter? More on that next time.
Say it with chocolate
Giving a box of chocolates is a sure way to a woman's heart. But now you can literally say 'I love you' with chocolates. Thorntons have come up with a nifty idea of having each individual piece of chocolate in a box show a letter or number to create a delicious message.
The possibilities are endless:
MARRY ME
or
YOU'LL BE MINE 4EVER
Hmm...but will she think him cheap for not paying for the extra two chocs to spell out 'for' in full?
Alternatively, you could always go for the cheeky approach:
I COULDN'T RESIST EATING ONE FIRS
Us copywriters are always looking for new media to deliver our sales messages. So any day now you can expect to see this used in a small scale but high profile direct mail campaign. If it hasn't already been done, that is.
What music do advertising people listen to while they're working? (Part 2)
So what do the remainder listen to? Of course! It's Radio 4.
Actually, no. Radio 4 doesn't even get a look in. (Though whisper it quietly, I suspect that when they're in their car or in the kitchen at home, a lot of the older advertising bods actually listen to it. Including me.)
No, the remaining fifth or so actually listen to nothing at work. And you know what? I'm with them.
I actually can't work while there's music on. Not unless I'm able to successfully tune it out of my head altogether, which rather defeats the purpose. Or unless I'm doing something mindless.
Peace, perfect peace...
What music do advertising people listen to while they're working? (Part 1)
Another excellent poll from Scamp, this one. To summarise the results, 25% listened to dance / electronic / techno, 18.8% to hip-hop / rap, 16.7% to rock, 12.5% to classical, 2.1% to pop / RnB, and 4.2% to new age / world / weird shit.
I love that 'weird shit' category. As someone rapidly approaching grumpy old man status, most of the first two categories falls under 'weird shit'. Back in the day, of course, most people would listen to rock / pop. And RnB (or rather R&B) meant bands like Doctor Feelgood.
In fact most people would have simply had Radio 1 on. Then it was Capital when they came along, then it started fragmenting as new stations were founded, until today when no two radios in one building are ever tuned to the same frequency (and virtually no-one bothers with radios anyway).
Of course the mathematicians out there will have worked out that the above percentages still leave 20.8% unaccounted for. More on that next time…
Until then, here's that poll link:
http://scampblog.blogspot.com/2007/03/friday-poll-march-madness.html
Freelance copywriting, latest news - March 2008
Very busy in the last few months. Recent projects include:
· More website optimisation for Pyrenean Mountain Tours. Also managing their Pay Per Click campaign. As the optimisation has taken effect, with many popular new search terms on the first page of Google, I've been able to phase out much of their AdWords campaign, and this should continue as new terms get picked up.
· Postcard advertising for an old client in New York with a brand new business venture - Interior Marketing.
· More web work for the major wine brand.
· More website copywriting and optimisation for Outreach International.
· Writing and optimising a website, plus fine-tuning sales collateral for Growth Strategy Group.
My YouTube debut
This is what happens when you get one guitar, three blokes and umpteen pints let loose at an open mic night in a Devon country pub. I'm the one in the middle (though you can hardly see me). The joint shook, though it may have been Elvis spinning in his grave. Got a bigger cheer than all the earnest local folkies anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VozkU3vJISw
Thankyouverrermuch...
A line about copywriting that made me laugh
There are a few articles around about getting into copywriting (I've written about it myself). Here's one from an American copywriter. It has the fairly standard advice about who can write, who can't, don't expect to make your fortune overnight and so on.
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Become-a-Freelance-Copywriter—The-WHOLE-Truth&id=718058
But it does have one gem, clearly written from the heart, and which will be instantly recognisable to any copywriter who has ever worked in an ad agency:
The most intense human desire is NOT for air, or water, or food or sex. It's one human being's yearning to change another's copy.
Most of my clients, I hasten to add, I work for direct, and there are no more than one or two people involved in the decision making process, which means that what I write generally gets through reasonably intact. But write for a big brand in a big agency and everyone but everyone, from the most junior exec to the vice president of marketing and beyond, will want to change your copy. And ninety nine times out of a hundred, the copy ends up the poorer for it.
Copywriting greetings cards - Part 1
Here's a link to a US article about writing greetings cards for money.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/459856/happy_fill_in_the_blank_cashing_in.html
Apparently, the average amount paid to a writer varies from $35 to $150 a card - about £17.50 to £75. And as the average greeting card copy is only about fifteen words, that equates to £1.16 to £5 per word. Whahey! 'Cash in!' says the author.
Actually, many many moons ago I tried to do just that. I found one of these companies that was looking for writers. It being the UK, what they essentially wanted was jokes. Preferably risqué jokes.
So I racked my brains and thought up a few. I also plundered every joke book I could find for others, making a few alterations.
I can't remember how many I submitted, but it was certainly well over a hundred. The result? A grand total of two published. And you can read them in my next entry.
Copywriting greetings cards - Part 2
Ok, here they are, my two published jokes:
'I couldn't afford to buy you a Jacuzzi for your birthday...
...so you'll have to keep farting in the bath as usual!'
And
'What's about six inches long and women love to hold it?...
'...A five pound note!'
All right, so your sides may not be splitting. But don't worry; I didn't make my fortune either. If I remember correctly, I made £20 each for those gems. Adding up to £40 for many hours work (factoring in all those rejected ones).
I don't think all the other jokes I submitted were bad, just that the company had seen them all before. And if that was the case then, it's likely to be even more the case now.
And the moral is? You may think you're going to make money writing greetings cards, but don't give up the day job.
Freelance copywriting - where do ideas come from?
This question is one of those old chestnuts, and I'm not about to answer it here. But it's generally agreed that you can help spark off ideas by taking an active interest in your cultural surroundings. (This is not the same, by the way, as shamelessly ripping off someone else's film scene, YouTube video, or illustration.)
So I try and make sure I go to as many films, plays, exhibitions and so on as I can. Apart from plain enjoying them, who knows when something I've seen or heard may spark off a productive train of thought ad-wise.
My recent enjoyable cultural expeditions have included the Pop Art exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery, the exhibition on Sleep at the Wellcome Foundation, the film I'm Not There, and the musical Chicago. All enjoyable in their own different ways, though nothing to report on the inspiration front though yet. (With Chicago, at least, I may be in for a long wait.)
Copywriting and eBay
If you're selling something on eBay, some copywriting (and general marketing skills) won't go amiss.
First and foremost, you need to have a good, descriptive title on your listing. 'Original Beatles LP' will get you a lot more bids than 'old pop record' and '1st mono pressing Beatles 'Please Please Me'' will get you more bids still.
You also need to have a full descriptive listing of the item, with several digital pictures if possible. Just as with a regular ad, it's worth highlighting the good points, but if there are any bad ones (e.g. slight damage), honesty is the best policy. Try and answer any possible questions in advance. Just as with a regular ad, a full money back guarantee is often a good idea, though it's something few eBay sellers think of. Invite questions or feedback.
Again, as with any marketing communication, aim for clear, well-written English. Poorly written or sketchy descriptions are likely to raise suspicion.
And just like any ad or mailpack, go for the best possible timing. In the case of eBay, that's usually a sale ending on a Saturday or Sunday from 6 - 9pm, when most people are online and looking to buy.
There's a lot more to selling successfully on eBay of course, but if you get these copywriting basics right you're already ahead of the game.
Latest news
Been very busy recently:
· National and local press ads and brochures for a training college
· More website copywriting and optimisation for Outreach International (see my SEO copywriting page for details). They're still doing very well with Google and are on the first page for many popular keywords over a year after I optimised the copy
· Search engine optimisation copywriting for a holiday company specialising in mountain-related activities
· A microsite and leaflet for a major wine brand - the latest project for a long-standing small agency client
For details of what I could do for you, just contact me
Freelance copywriting - variety is the spice of life
One of the drawbacks with being a freelance copywriter is that, when it comes to working for advertising, direct mail or digital agencies, you usually get to work only on the less desirable briefs. After all, it makes sense to give the more interesting work to your in-house people. That said, briefs are often what you make of them, and I've been fortunate enough to have produced some excellent work as a freelance copywriter. In fact I've won more awards as a freelancer than as a full-timer.
However, many of the most interesting briefs are those I pick up from people finding my site via an internet search. They're often worth less financially, but they can be every bit as interesting, and often more so, than work from a major agency.
For instance, here are some of the projects I've completed in the recent past:
· Writing a website for a fishing tackle shop. (As a dedicated angler, I was delighted to be paid in fishing tackle for that one.)
· Travelling to Spain to help write a newsletter for a worldwide company
· Coming up with ads for what was billed as the most expensive book of its kind in the world
· Writing 'how to' manuals for sex chat line operators
· Everything from complete websites to press ads for various charity projects
Never a dull moment...
Thinking outside the box - strip cartoons
Lateral thinking is responsible for most of the best ads. Here's what happened when someone applies it to a strip cartoon:
http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/
Now Garfield cartoons I can take or leave. I certainly don't think I've ever seen a laugh-out-loud one. And I wasn't exactly queuing at the local fleapit to catch the Garfield movie. But these doctored cartoon strips have a certain something.
What the author has done is photoshop out the actual Garfield cat from the cartoons. Leaving only Jon, the hapless owner, to ponder a lonely, depressed, schizophrenic existence. Have a look - they have a certain hypnotic quality.
Whatever happened to useful newspaper freebies?
First it was music CDs. Then it was DVDs. Next came posters. A few papers even gave away actual books. Now it seems to be down to booklets. What is it with all these newspaper freebies?
The CDs were mostly fairly useless. The movies are sometimes worthwhile though, especially if you like old films, as I do. Then there were those posters - remember them? A year or two back, there was a glut of them - I think the Guardian started it. A few were ok - they went on my kids' bedroom walls.
Now though, you hardly ever see a decent film DVD. Or maybe I don't buy the right papers.
At the moment, the craze seems to have moved on to booklets, with the Guardian and the Independent slugging it out. Great Speeches was a few months back. Now it's the Great Poets, with both newspapers trying to push their particular Poet of the Day. It's like a Far Side cartoon - 'When Literary Experts fall out'. There was actually one day last week when both the Indy and the Grauniad did a feature on the same poet. Somehow, I can't quite see the readers really caring that much.
Freelance copywriting - latest news
No sign of a let up in the run up to Christmas. Recent projects include:
· Further work for a major international wine brand, including writing tasting notes and developing a full website.
· Sales literature editing, keyword research and search engine optimisation copywriting for a brand new website for a Sales / Marketing / Strategy consultancy.
· A business report for an international investment company.
· Complete copy overhaul and search engine optimisation copywriting for IT services company
For details of what I could do for you, just contact me