Freelance Copywriter UK Blog 2007 Archive
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Copywriting queries - behind the stats
Before I start pontificating left, right and centre about life, the universe and nothing, I thought I'd start by looking at the kind of search queries people use who end up at my site.
Thanks to the marvels of Webalizer technology, I know how many people are visiting my site and where they come from, more or less (yes, I'm aware that the visitor's server isn't always based in the country they're writing from).
To date, I've had visitors from as far afield as the Seychelles, Lebanon, Latvia, Kenya, Vietnam and even Christmas Island. Going by the search strings, some are just looking for the fun stuff like famous advertising mistakes or clichéd advertising images.
One or two misguided and unlucky souls have somehow stumbled into my little realm by typing in phrases such as 'goofy women' and 'lactating ladies'. Sorry to disappoint you fellers.
Quite a few have used the kind of search terms I've optimised for. Hurrah! Some have even contacted me for a quote (thank you if you're one of them) - various examples of work you'll find on my site are from customers who originally came to via a search engine search.
However, some of the most interesting search strings are those to do with copywriting issues which I'd never really thought about, at least in terms of the information I needed to provide on my site. These include:
Should copywriting be clever
How much does a freelance copywriter charge
Brochure copywriting how long
Best images in advertising
Logo for copywriter
Becoming an advertising copywriter
So I'll try and answer some of these questions in future posts.
A cheeky little article on freelance copywriting
One of the benefits of writing articles is that it allows you to promote your site (and add links back to it) via the resource box. If you're cunning, you can use the article text to promote your site as well (as opposed to simply offering useful and interesting information on a more general basis).
As a freelance copywriter, I confess to having done it myself on occasion - when explaining about a particular aspect of my service, for example. Here's a fellow UK copywriter who's been a bit more blatant.
http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Does-a-Copywriter-Do?&id=279818
The article is about what a copywriter does. The answer is that a copywriter writes copy. And that, spread over several hundred words, is about all the information you get in this article. That and a couple of plugs for his website. And another article he's written.
That said, it's cheeky and entertaining enough in its blatancy. And, as I said, I've done it myself. Plus, it's given me another blog entry...
Analysing Shakespeare on copywriting techniques
Hmmm, I seem to have Shakespeare on the brain at the moment. But here's another quite interesting, though more serious take on it. The author, Roger Dooley, analyses a Shakespearian phrase or two and concludes that the man would not just have made a decent copywriter, but that reading him can cause positive activation of the brain. So apparently he does, literally, affect the brain - and we should copy his techniques...
Here's the link anyway:
http://www.neurosciencemarketing.com/blog/articles/shakespeare-copywriting.htm
Ten famous copywriters
Here they are, in no particular order. I think they were all once copywriters, though it's possible one or two may have simply been account handlers.
1. Salman Rushdie
2. Fay Weldon
3. Ogden Nash
4. Dorothy L Sayers
5. Dashiell Hammett
6. Don DeLillo
7. Joseph Heller
8. Peter Mayle
9. Antonia White
10. Frank Zappa
Another ten famous copywriters
Here you go, another ten former copywriters who found greater success in other fields:
1. F Scott Fitzgerald
2. Terry Gilliam
3. Hugh Hefner
4. Alec Guinness
5. Rick Moranis
6. Bob Newhart
7. Peter Carey
8. Alan Parker
9. Augusten Burroughs
10. Steven Pressfield
Buying books - an awful realisation
Reviewing those advertising and copywriting books reminded me of how much I love reading in general. I do quite a bit of it, especially at night as I'm not a great sleeper. I enjoy reading about a wide variety of subjects, and chances are, that at any one time, I'll have three or four quite different books and a magazine or two on the go. I also buy a lot of books - sometimes in bookshops, quite often second-hand copies in charity shops, occasionally on Amazon and so on.
Not so long ago, I had what I think alcoholics call a moment of clarity. Even if I was to up my reading levels considerably, at the rate I was buying books I would never have a chance to read them all before I died (and I'm still comparatively young). Yikes.
So nowadays I try and buy fewer books. I'm also less likely to go for those 'maybe' titles that might be a good read or might not. But I'm not like some people, who will frequently start a book and then not bother to finish it. It has to be a truly bad read for me to discard it partially unread.
Copy critique - the cheap way to improve your communications
One of the services I offer is a copy critique
Not many people take it up. Which is a pity, as it's an extremely cost-effective way of getting your communications into shape. Especially as I refund the cost of the critique if I'm subsequently hired to do a new piece.
Why isn't your website on the front page of Google for important keywords? Is your SEO company charging you a lot of money for precious few results? Why didn't that mailer pull in many enquiries or your sales letter lots of sales? Is that ad of yours really saying what you want it to say? Is it talking to the right people at the right time? And is that brochure of yours going straight in the bin?
A thorough critique can give you the answers to what you're looking for - and in some cases the tools you need to rectify the problem yourself.
If there's any aspect of your communications you're not happy with, why not give it a try?
Copywriting is like a carrot...Part 1
That's what fellow copywriter Bill Hilton thinks anyway. Here's a link to his post:
http://www.billhilton.biz/blog/2007/07/09/the-amazing-copywriting-carrot/
And here's an abridged version of what he says:
Writing copy is like harvesting and preparing a carrot. There are four easy stages:
1. Pull it out the ground with a good, firm tug. When you're writing the first draft of something, don't try and be perfect - just get it down.
2. Wash off the crap. That's to say the cliches, the waffle and so on.
3. Top and tail. First drafts often have too much introductory material and waffly or inconclusive endings.
4. If it's longer than a couple of inches, chop it up. People who read website copy or blogs don't hang around. Deliver your ideas in bite-size paragraphs that are easy to skim.
I like Bill's analogy. My only quibble is that he could have taken it further. More on that in my next post.
Copywriting is like a carrot...Part 2
I think Bill has written a good and entertaining analogy. However, I think it could be taken further, and I would add a stage at either end of the procedure. So my first step would be:
Plant the seed
Before writing anything, mull it over for a while. Let it take shape and grow in your mind. Then you'll be ready for that first draft.
Next, follow Bill's other steps - wash off the crap, top and tail, slice 'n' dice. Then, I would add a final step
Garnish it
Serve it up the way you know your audience will like it. Add a little spice or a soupcon of sauce. A different word here, a fresh phrase there. That way they'll be asking for second helpings.
Does long copywriting still work?
This is a very old chestnut that's been posed every so often for at least the last twenty years. Here's one of the latest debates on the subject:
http://bly.com/blog/?p=306
My answer (and it's also been said before) is that people read what interests them. And sometimes it's an ad.
English to become obligatory on the Internet.
This story appeared a little while ago and I only just noticed it. Apparently, the Central Authority for Internet Control (CAIC) announced that they plan to make English the official and mandatory language of the Internet, and that by 2010 all web pages should be in English exclusively.
What, no French literature sites? No angsty German teenage blogs? And no porn in the original Swedish?
Of course, if I tell you that this was posted on April 1st, you'll deduce, if you hadn't already, that it was a spoof.
Not bad, but not up to the great April Fools print ads. Of which more next time.
Anyway, here's the link:
http://www.dailywritingtips.com/english-to-become-the-official-and-obligatory-language-of-the-internet/
Freelance copywriters 'in demand'
Here's a link to a report on freelance copywriter demand in 2007 from the Freelance UK site. It highlights some interesting trends.
To summarise the report, good copywriters can generally charge more than ever - one agency reported hiring out senior writers for online work at £400 a day. However, some agencies report that rates at the bottom end of the market have been depressed. Good news, you might think, if you're a client.
The bad news is that the main reason for lower rates is that more and more people getting into the business and calling themselves copywriters - often people with little experience or training. So a project might end up costing you dearly in the long term, thanks to the copywriter's lack of expertise.
Anyway, here's the link:
http://www.freelanceuk.com/news/2565.shtml
Freelance copywriter - a true calling?
Many years ago, when I was fresh out of university and still not sure of what I wanted to do, I took one of those 'Find the Right Career' multiple choice tests.
You probably know the kind of thing. It had dozens of questions along the lines of 'Do you like working with people', 'Are you adept at problem solving' and 'Are you good at working to deadlines'. You then had to give an answer on a rating of one to five.
Anyway, I took the test and my results came out. Right up there was 'Copywriter', which helped set me on the path to what I do now. But in among my top suggested careers were some slightly eyebrow-raising suggestions, including 'Surveyor' and 'Airline pilot'. But right up at the top was 'Minister of Religion'. Which was a little odd, given that none of the questions had mentioned religious faith. And that both then and now, religion was not something I felt the slightest inclination towards.
But perhaps my evangelical side is now coming out in this blog...?!
Freelance copywriting - how sweet it is...
Here's an article that caught my eye.
http://ezinearticles.com/?Freelance-Copywriting-Clients---Are-yours-Peppermint,-Bitter-Lemon-or-Pure-Humbug?&id=270694
It actually appears to be two articles in one. The bulk of the text is about becoming a copywriter, where the work is and so on - pretty standard stuff.
However, the most interesting part is the headline and related text. The author asks 'Are your clients peppermint, bitter lemon or pure humbug?' He then answers this question in a small part of the article as follows:
'There's 'bitter lemon', the type that will always be hard to please. There's 'humbug' who will always downgrade your offering, the more to minimise your fee. And you may also come across 'peppermint'-flavoured clients whose sharpness and critical faculties are so highly tuned, you'll wonder why they bothered to hire a freelance copywriter in the first place!'
And that's as far as the article goes in answering its own headline. I think it's a nice little metaphor, as far as it goes, though it comes across as somewhat 'bitter lemon' in itself. Has the author only ever had awkward clients? (I don't know about you, but the 'peppermint' comparison didn't seem particularly complimentary to me.) Or maybe the author was worrying that he was getting a bit too deep into biting-the-hand-that-feeds-him territory.
For my part, I recognise the stereotypes to some extent. But the majority of my clients have been of slightly different flavours. Sure, sometimes you'll get a 'sherbet dip' - full of fizzy promise which quickly evaporates as the project never materialises. But most of the time, in my experience, there'll be the 'bullseye'- who hits the spot with a good brief, interesting, trouble-free job and prompt payment. These, I'm glad to say are the most frequent.
Looking for a great blog? Stand in a queue.
Ok, it's just a bit of fun, rather than than one of the greats, but I liked the whole Britishness of having a blog that's all about standing in a queue. Here's the link:
http://standinaqueue.wordpress.com/
Unfortunately it doesn't seem to have been updated in a while. But the last entry, from November 2007 is about queuing in Zimbabwe, I country I loved on my several visits there, now alas a long time ago.
Unfortunately, it's now a country where people have to pretty much queue for anything - and where they've got a very long wait indeed until a half decent government comes along.
Plenty of other stuff on queues in Africa and around the world too…worth spending a spare few minutes on.
Shakespeare today: a copywriter with a blog
I've just found a piece from The Times from a couple of months ago written by Giles Whittell.
Here's the link:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article3019117.ece
In essence, he's saying Shakespeare is overrated. I disagree, though that's not the purpose of this post.
The headline of the piece is 'Tickets to Othello? Not on your life.' Coincidentally, I had tickets to see Othello at the Donmar Warehouse with Ewan McGregor et al and saw this excellent production just last night. But again, that's not the reason for this post.
What actually caught my eye was the last paragraph:
'Shakespeare isn't terrible. He was a decent, jobbing wordsmith chosen by accident of history as a vessel for the projected yearnings, every bit as intense as his own, of succeeding generations. He was literature's Brian (as in Life Of). If he were alive today he'd be a copywriter with a blog.'
I think that's actually rather flattering to us copywriters. Perhaps I should restyle myself 'The Bard of Stoke Newington'...
Shakespeare as a copywriter
According to Times writer Giles Whittell, if Shakespeare were alive today, he'd be a copywriter with a blog. I don't know about that, but as a copywriter with a blog, I thought some of his lines could be useful for advertising certain products:
If music be the food of love, play on - K-Tel's Greatest Love Songs CD
To be, or not to be - Careers Advisory Service
To sleep, perchance to dream - Nytol
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo - Discover your local Alfa dealer
Out, damned spot - Vanish stain remover
All that glisters is not gold - Ratners Jewellery
Blow, blow thou winter wind - Outdoor clothing retailer
Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie - Neuro Linguistic Programming DVDs
Eye of newt and toe of frog - New extra economy burgers!
I will buy with you, sell with you, talk with you - Management Consultants
A dish fit for the gods - Ferrero Rocher
Shakespeare as a copywriter - part 2
More useful copy lines from our greatest playwright:
A pound of flesh - just £4.99 at your local butcher's
A hit, a very palpable hit - Kylie's latest
That way madness lies - unlike Kylie's, the nutty boys' CD can be found in the bargain bin
A thousand times good night - nytol again
Salad days - summer picnic offers
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more - Check out Brad Pitt's new movie
A feast of languages - Linguaphone special offer
The crack of doom - just say no to drugs
On the windy side - hey kids, you'll love our new baked beans!
Unsex me here - Mr Byrite
Why, that's my dainty Ariel, I shall miss thee - But don't miss new, improved giant sized non-bio Ariel!
Shakespeare as a copywriter - Part 3
Here's the final batch:
An improbable fiction - Jeffrey Archer's latest now on sale
An itching palm - try our medicated hand cream
Cakes and ale - a double offer at Morrisons
Hob nob - (looks like Shakespeare even did a bit of product naming on the side too)
Knock, knock! Who's there? (not to mention standup comedy)
It smells to heaven - Get your French cheese here!
Laid on with a trowel - The Jade Goody make-up collection
Life's fitful fever - Calpol
Neither a borrower nor a lender be - Northern Rock
Now is the winter of our discount tent - camping shop January sale
(Ok, I cheated a bit with that last one.)
Shakespeare as a copywriter - a different slant
Ok, another post on the great man. Here's someone who's taken the whole business of Shakespeare and copywriting a bit more seriously and come up with some interesting observations.
http://www.publicationcoach.com/free-articles/Shakespeare.php
It's actually some solid Shakespearian advice for would-be copywriters and well worth a read.
Some things are better written the old way
E-cards have been around for a long time now. But they've never really taken off. Part of it's to do with the fact that they seem to crop up depressingly regularly as spam.
You know the kind of thing. 'You've been sent an e-card by (some name or other, probably fake). Click here to read it.'
Are you going to? Not unless you want to be subjected to some lousy ad, or a virus, or both.
But it's not just that. E-cards somehow lack that essential intimacy. The personal touch. It's why it's always a bit disappointing to get some electronic Christmas Card rather than the real thing. And when it comes to a proper thank you or heartfelt message, a handwritten card you can open and hold in your hands is always going to be far superior to a click on a computer screen.
Write a novel? Not me
As a freelance copywriter, I'm sometimes asked if I'm only doing it to make a bit of money while I write My Great Novel. All copywriters have a novel in them, don't they?
Well, the likes of Fay Wheldon, Dorothy L Sayers and Salman Rushdie certainly did. Although when he got hit with a fatwah, I wonder whether old Salman ever wished in his darker moments that he'd stuck to selling cream cakes. But they've all made money at it (intriguingly, Fay Wheldon actually wrote a novel a few years ago incorporating ideas / namechecks from a jewellery firm - for a tidy sum, of course. There was quite an uproar about it.)
But back to the present, I think people have to be seriously nuts to write a novel. Or seriously driven, which amounts to much the same thing. People talk about being compelled to write - and of practically sweating blood as they do so - but still slaving away at it.
Now, I've sweated a bit over deadlines at times. I've gnashed my teeth when stuck for an idea or an opening line or infuriated by an account person or client. I enjoy writing a lot of the time. But the only thing that absolutely compels me to do it is the family to support, the mortgage to pay and whatever costly leisure pursuits that I can fit in.
Financially speaking, writing a book nowadays is pretty much a non starter. For every Salman Rushdie (or JK Rowling) there are thousands of impoverished writers. Even fairly well known novelists rarely make much money.
So I stick to the kinds of writing that I know will pay. Ads, websites, SEO copywriting, brochures and the like. Or that will indirectly help my business, such as articles and this blog.
Of course, that still leaves the question partly unanswered. Is there such a thing as My Great Novel if I only got around to writing it? The answer is no. I could never be a really good novelist. I might just be a reasonable trashy one (I've toyed with a couple of ideas in this field.) But until the day I retire comfortably off, and with not much to do, attempting to write a novel just aint going to happen.
Ways to not get rich online
In the same vein as my earlier post about writing a novel, I found an interesting piece about writing online - and how it rarely brings in the readies.
Here's the URL:
http://menwithpens.ca/13-point-2-ways-that-wont-make-you-rich
Rather than point out all those ways of writing online that are supposed to make you rich, the author, Harry someone or other, points out the ones which won't actually you make you any money (which is pretty much all of them).
Blogging, e-books, novels (yes, he's worked that one out too), web gurus, even starting your own business…they're all ways to not get rich.
Harry has only one answer - hard work. And dammit, he's right.
Top buzzwords of 2007
Here's a fun blog post from a US copywriter about various buzzwords which came into prominence last year. As so often with American English, it involves mangling the language - 'reverbiagized' anyone? There are also some terms that have little meaning to UK users - such as 'Barneyware', named after a popular children's toy in the US, and used to indicate something with little or no substance.
But one that made me smile was 'Narcissisurfing' - that is Googling your own name to find out how often you're mentioned and what people are saying about you. Narcissisurfers apparently do this one a daily basis.
Here's a link to the full post:
http://copywriterunderground.com/2007/12/23/my-nine-top-buzzwords-of-2007-and-one-im-coining-right-now/